Shame

Last Friday night...I cannot believe that I am now saying that with the shame of ten lifetimes.


I really thought I was having fun, but the truth is, I probably felt at lost with crowded people in a stuffy apartment and among the blasting of the background music. People drink there and dance here. If not throwing and aiming, then you can bounce balls in the red solo cup (By the way, I detest that song). I kept taking shots and spilling shots and chasers all over the floor. By that time, I knew I was drunk out of my mind. The dizziness felt as though the ground and ceiling were closing in and tipping to the side. If not for alcohol, this instability can only result in spinning around for way too many times. I went upstairs to get some rest, and really everything was a blur after that. I do remember vomiting nonstop but I didn't feel a bit disgusted by it. My body just wanted to get all of these burdens out. People really did not call it being intoxicated for no reasons. Worst of all, I showed so much vulnerability and embarrassment that I would usually be very self-conscious with. I am now just really glad that it can buried with the excuse of being drunk and not remembering it afterwards.

Being drunk is one thing and the aftermath of a hangover the next day is another long story. At least for me, it was the feeling of getting hair yanked out in the back of my head. I couldn't focus and all I wanted to fall asleep in a dire attempt. After getting some sleep, my head just kept pounding. And pounding. Although it was already nine at night, nearly 24 hours since I last picked up a Pixie cup.

The last paragraph is usually a conclusion so I conclude this with the encompassing theme of this article: NEVER AGAIN.