Mind Wars

In this modern society, our source of entertainment has become a unique (and addicting) specimen. And yes, I am talking about the world of Internet. For nearly four years in high school, I've been out of the loop. I deactivated Facebook and I never made a Tumblr or Reddit or 4chan account. It just seems unnecessary. And it still is. However, with college and expanded social network, I was coerced to make in order to stay in contact with friends and establish new ones. Now, everyday I would be literally chained to Facebook to check up news prevalent to my social circle (or simply stalking for the sakes of curiosity) or communicate with others regarding gossip and academic matters. I would be lying if I say Facebook is anyway an efficient or beneficial use of time. In fact, it has become so damaging that I have to struggle to get my mind off this cyber world in order to get productivity going. I haven't done well in school as I want to because there's always a distraction to my concentration. There are consistently moments where I know I'm numbingly scrolling down the page, and yet I still continue. My mind felt fogged by the miscellaneous information that came to me so quickly and so much that my thinking becomes shortsighted. I feel like my active thinking and reasoning are replaced by the useless processing of what was on my newsfeed that day. And now that I have Tumblr, my mind is even more cluttered by the visual appeal of the reblogs and the interest in gaining followers and showcasing interesting posts. Though I know that there are some good use in the blog, such as how I can learn new information that is constantly and massively produced in this modern world, I've been doing it for the wrong reasons. I need a break from all of the notifications, from all the messaging, and reblogging. Which is why I wrote this much down right now. It makes me feel human again when I can actively use my brain to produce something rather than letting others do the job and hunting their ideas down for reblogs. Tonight, I'm forcing my mind to be analytical about myself and the world. This reminds me think of the theme in Mishima Yukio's work about the samurai disdain for the idleness of peaceful time. I've been used to this luxury, this fascinating and exhilarating luxury that is the Internet, that I've been forgetting what I can be capable of.

I need concrete goals. From now on, two hours of Facebook and Tumblr max a day. And I need to keep track and stay disciplined. Instead of taking a "short break" online, I should start reading the variety of books offered at the library that is nearly a 15 minutes walk from my dorm. I can be learning more and become so much more sophisticated and cultured through two hundred pages than scrolling down a million posts and status updates.